Love was never new to me

Love was never new to me. Seems like I was always in love! Claiming to be sensitive, sophisticated and someone actually getting what “love” is doesn’t help but! When you finally fell in love you realize it is nothing new other than the excruciating pain associated with it. The inability to help yourself and console yourself. All hell breaks lose. You lose control over logic and credibility to yourself (or for that matter you lose control over your mind!). Too much anticipation, inspiration from too many movies and too much of discussion let you think of it as something “tried and done”, which is not! Definitely not! It is really different. Not different different but painfully different. You claim you’ve known this person so well. You’ve been close for such and such period of time. And the next moment you realize you missed so and so major details of this person that you can’t trust yourself and your decision making capability. I don’t discourage people to trust others but also be sure of those so and so details of your spouse. Don’t realize it too late. Some actually realize it too late. So late that they are already standing, saying an ardent “yes” on the alter or already walking down the aisle (having done the “yes” part of course)!

So what the hell is my point? That’s my point! I have lost tract of all points having gotten into this love business. Initially it was all going out, promises and romance. Later still, I want to love and I am still in love but that fire is burning less and it is sort of a nightmare by now! I sound silly and dubious and lost. Well then how do I say now about the experience and wisdom I gained from my friends’ advices, the novels I read and the movies from my big buffer of “all time best romantic/love stories”? Am I still old with love. No! I am a big newbie. So now I give up my expertise status. All I do is put on my “amateur status” cap, put down the thinking cap and hang on. I am still in love; just the only difference is that I am now willing to discover love. I want to fall in love and get hurt and loved- but in an all together new way. No apprehensions, taking it the way my heart feels about my love! Love was never new to me!