I am an ardent animal lover. More so if they are in some sort of difficulty, and by difficulty I mean all sort of earthly difficulties! I admire nature, the way it is. I like the fancy fishes and their varieties in the sea, their natural habitat, not those captured lives in a tank. Why only fishes? Every human and every living being need to be “free”. How can a life which is “born-free” be chained? India is still considered a land of snake-charmers, which is still true to a certain extent! I was going through this news report; it said that the officials (let me not call them care takers) of a certain zoo were having a hard time searching for a potential mate for their female king cobra, supposedly a celebrity! She has been with them for quite some time. People flock up to the zoo to offer prayers to her. The zoo is certain of increasing its income next year as they are expecting a bigger crowd (who will be charged to see and worship her!). The big plan is to imprison a life and make her worshipped? Breed her to yield more king cobras and increase the income further more? I would not offer her milk and pray for my upliftment, rather pray for her to be able to run “free”, in the wild, as is the law of nature! We need to “free” all those lives, including ours, which we have chained in our own selfish ways to beget “freedom”, of the physical body and of the soul. And why only humans, even humanity itself needs to be “free”.
To be free is to know that you are breathing the right air needed to sustain life, while keeping all of dignity and fundamentals intact. To be free is not about doing what the mind tells. It is rather to follow your heart (and let my heart be the one I trust to be my sole guide). It would be unfair on our part to define “freedom” the way it is comfortable for each one of us. If the Goa government feels a young girl was unnecessarily practicing her “freedom” at a foreign country at the wee hours of that eventful night, maybe they are true. That Scarlett was a minor and was on a vacation to India is sad. But the picture perfect and posh image of Goa is sure under threat. What people do for a vacation and how "Tourism" in Goa cater to everyone is horrifying! The mother of the deceased, Fiona McKeon was “free” enough to leave her child in a place where there were an evident number of risks, while she herself continued with her vacation! But also those accused men! They were enough “free”, at their own will, to have done the blunder to the young girl. This was certainly a case where individual boundaries of “freedom” clashed, loud enough to send alarms to the whole world!
I would be fraudulent if I say I never saw a day when I defined my own “freedom” for myself, as we all had at some point of our lives, over certain issues. But thankfully that did not lead to any major controversy in my life or to those of others! I do feel the urge to shout out sometimes, over so many issues, both personal and otherwise. I do feel the compulsive need to just break “free” at my own will! If only I could demarcate the margin of my “freedom” in such a way so as not to collide with that of my parents, or my friends or the world or anything. Alas! That is not possible! I don’t want to hurt any of them! That I care enough for them gives me peace, relief and a sense of freedom, freedom from insanity and guilt. I don’t put into practice my liberty just to be free, rather I feel free to enjoy my freedom.
Freedom wouldn’t be still something out of the world. The Tibetans have been staging one of the most peaceful protests ever in the world, for over decades, against the cultural atrocity brought upon it by China. The Dalai Lama and his supporters had to flee from their own country just to preserve an ancient and rich culture. Maybe they were not heard enough till now. I don’t go on to tell why this is a major concern for the world at this instant. Despite all such circumstances, this immense persona called the Dalai Lama still manages to maintain his composure and a tranquil smile on his face. Is that because he is in constant touch with his “freedom”? He can still think in his pristine directions as he is “free” from the many worries that bug us all, thus not allowing the mind and the heart to think in communion.
If I may mention here, the Dalai Lama says and I quote- “… I have found that the greatest degree of inner tranquility comes from the development of love and compassion. ... The more we care for the happiness of others, the greater our own sense of well-being becomes. Cultivating a close, warmhearted feeling for others automatically puts the mind at ease”. This should be a benchmark for us all seeking our own “freedom”!
When I lost my grandmother to cancer, I couldn’t think of a period of time when I would be fine with the notion that she is no longer with me. That grief and pain still continue to haunt me, although time, the healer it is, has done his share in consoling me. Priyanka Vadra Gandhi must have been quite proud of his father, even then, when she was only six and more so now when she is fully aware of the nuances of politics. The late Rajiv Gandhi was not only a father but also a person respected by millions for his credibility and the sense of love for his countrymen and the world. Then came the assassination- 700 grams of RDX blew up a whole eventful saga. How the Gandhi family coped up with this is beyond my knowledge. Recent reports told Priyanka met Nalini, an accused in the assassination plot. She was innocent but nonetheless involved, directly or indirectly. Priyanka has set a new paradigm of setting oneself “free” from hatred and one’s own elapsed memory. I cannot but marvel at her guts and integrity.
Freedom is to come at terms with one self. Freedom is in not fighting with oneself over why I don’t accept and admire myself the way that I am. Rather it is in accepting the concept that life is too beautiful to be spent without love, care and understanding! Rather it is in accepting that to follow the heart is way better off then to follow the brain! Then is only one “free”, to that very core of freedom!
It is futile to count the number of idols that we worship in the name of religion. While I am not an atheist myself, I hardly pay for the flowers and all the offerings made to any of the pristine “idols”! We are then back to square one, where India was still a land of snake charmers and idol worshippers. I was reading a news report (once again) that stated that the number of temples in the state is much more than the number of schools and hospitals taken together! While God is omnipresent, I would rather say that the Almighty might not need such number of temples just to be the guarding and guiding aura of all the living beings on this earth. If I had to remember my parents, do I offer them gifts in front of their portraits or just close my eyes and pray (to God, the owner of my heart and soul,) for their safety and happiness? This is the case maybe where we need to “free” our mind of all worries and just pray! A prayer to erase all pain and hatred, a prayer to uplift ourselves a prayer to love and adore ourselves and a prayer to be free. Chaining ourselves wouldn’t be the next best thing. Remember? We were all born-free?
Sunday, April 20, 2008
Monday, April 14, 2008
Different Stereotypes:
So what is “difference” or “being different”? I did not want my article to come with a safety “disclaimer” but maybe it is better this way. I am not here to comment on the “northies” being chased out of Maharashtra or them being brutally murdered in Assam and Manipur. Nor am I here to give my insights on the age old “north-south” debate. They say stereotyping is nothing but assimilation (reducing differences within a group) and contrast (blowing up differences between groups). Maybe that’s true or maybe not!
Media, to some extent, is responsible for the glorification of this stereotyping of people and their differences! So there is a Masterji in Padosan, with all the I-am-the-loser because I-am-from-the-south humor. And all the characters of Chak de with that let-us-be-Indians sarcasm or the north family and south family war in ek duje ke liye. Or for that matter those sarcastically funny south indian characters in comics books like Tinkle digest who are shown to be all Hindu priests and all orthodox, all the time. Stereotypes! But yes when it comes to reality everyone knows that in the present scenario, Bollywood is only money and is short of brains given the astoundingly original and fresh Telegu and Tamil flicks being produced.
In this North-south never-ending debate the east and the west seems to be slowly subsided though. Like a student clears his doubt in class and a conversation slowly develops between him and the teacher and the rest of the class evidently goes off to sleep! So do I suggest a south, a north, an east, a west and a north east stereotypes’ clash? For god’s sake, no!
Like in the word “assimilation”, the term “North-East” itself is very misleading. The seven states (Sikkim now regarded as the 8th) are taken as a single entity, which is definitely not. The cultural diversity in these states is but gothic. The languages/dialects spoken, the ethics and the varied beliefs of the communities in this region surpasses the word “cultural diversity” itself in all its sense. I am not sad that Bollywood is unfair in not including them as in humor (or mockery or as otherwise)! But yes these people are surely taken for granted, by Bollywood or otherwise. I am not proud of the fact that they are underdeveloped, yet I am not ashamed of it either. Because whatever is the case, I cannot say Delhi or Bangalore is my birthplace. I received so much from them that Delhi or for that matter New York has not given me so much!
Inhabitants from the “mainland India” fail to know these places or is ignorance really a bliss? People seem to be anticipatory of these places and the people out there (as in we all are about aliens from Mars). I am by now tired of explaining to people where Imphal (the capital of Manipur) is. Once I was asked by this friend if my house is on the peak or the foot of some mountain! Somebody else did enquire me if we can find any sea (as in the Caribbean Sea) out there! So then, should I distribute India maps to show where I was born or the world globe to point out the various seas on the earth? I don’t think that would be wise.
So people from the “North-East” eat fermented food (the odour is hideous to many others); but so does all the mongoloid races in all the east countries. Let us forget about being unfair, but stereotyping based on taste buds is yet another something! If there are bamboo shoot pickle recipes, there are also bamboo, cane and silk industries. The upbringing is generally more open, frank and self dependent. Girls are more open and marriage is totally an individual’s choice. So the stereotype goes as those wearing western dresses, hippie-cultured and soccer playing. I don’t play soccer and I write poems, so then Am I out of place? Which stereotype do I follow then? I am different then, since I do not fall into one of those many patterns. “Differences” can be so tricky sometimes!
When I was in high school, I used to be a tinkle-digest fan. They showed a shaven-head-pony-tailed and fat bellied priest Tenali Raman and his wife as typical (stereotyped) south Indians. I learnt that here names are really long because they include the father’s name, the grandfather’s name or even the village’s name. My curiosity knew no bounds to discover more of such names and the places itself. I knew about Mysore and its kings from my history classes. Tipu Sultan, the tiger of Mysore looked so appealing in the TV series with his huge kingdom, his huge durbar and all the battles he won. I thought of south India as idli-dosa and strict religious disciplines and temples with all their festivities and Onam snake boat races and Carnatic music and the Kathak dance. Now I came to know that they were actually all true, and that I still need to learn so much more. The stereotype is idli-dosa but yes the Konkani fish and prawns served (as in my room mate’s house in Udupi) are heaven’s recipes. So there! Stereotypes are again different from the reality and the truth.
This friend of mine thought “Naga” is a word derived from the word “nanga”, naked for Hindi (What? And, oh no dear!) Apparently they don’t need any clothes running around, naked among the trees in the jungles and hills! One time, this person thought of the nagas as a group of terrorists (as in LTTE). Poor them who are misunderstood, poorer them who are ignorant! Another friend “guessed” the Manipuri language has no script of its own (little did he know there are two Manipuri scripts!). So again, imagination and guesses are different from facts! Surely, ignorance is bliss; but this friend of mine knew of Ratan Thiyam, the famous theatre personality from the “North-East”. I suppose it has less to do with regions than it is about people and their individual logic.
This friend of mine thinks my community service is a waste, while I find his playing cricket a worse waste. I don’t even want to think on how “different” our opinions will be on other issues like regionalism or politics (given that he is from Lucknow and I am from Imphal). The stereotypes that we follow, and our individual views are sure to clash. Rather than comparing our differences, I feel it is better if I start to adjust myself to the fact that people can be different and that they should be. Or else I have to start stereotyping myself as a different stereotype. Don’t even get me started on the North and the “North-east” (and their different stereotypes)!
Media, to some extent, is responsible for the glorification of this stereotyping of people and their differences! So there is a Masterji in Padosan, with all the I-am-the-loser because I-am-from-the-south humor. And all the characters of Chak de with that let-us-be-Indians sarcasm or the north family and south family war in ek duje ke liye. Or for that matter those sarcastically funny south indian characters in comics books like Tinkle digest who are shown to be all Hindu priests and all orthodox, all the time. Stereotypes! But yes when it comes to reality everyone knows that in the present scenario, Bollywood is only money and is short of brains given the astoundingly original and fresh Telegu and Tamil flicks being produced.
In this North-south never-ending debate the east and the west seems to be slowly subsided though. Like a student clears his doubt in class and a conversation slowly develops between him and the teacher and the rest of the class evidently goes off to sleep! So do I suggest a south, a north, an east, a west and a north east stereotypes’ clash? For god’s sake, no!
Like in the word “assimilation”, the term “North-East” itself is very misleading. The seven states (Sikkim now regarded as the 8th) are taken as a single entity, which is definitely not. The cultural diversity in these states is but gothic. The languages/dialects spoken, the ethics and the varied beliefs of the communities in this region surpasses the word “cultural diversity” itself in all its sense. I am not sad that Bollywood is unfair in not including them as in humor (or mockery or as otherwise)! But yes these people are surely taken for granted, by Bollywood or otherwise. I am not proud of the fact that they are underdeveloped, yet I am not ashamed of it either. Because whatever is the case, I cannot say Delhi or Bangalore is my birthplace. I received so much from them that Delhi or for that matter New York has not given me so much!
Inhabitants from the “mainland India” fail to know these places or is ignorance really a bliss? People seem to be anticipatory of these places and the people out there (as in we all are about aliens from Mars). I am by now tired of explaining to people where Imphal (the capital of Manipur) is. Once I was asked by this friend if my house is on the peak or the foot of some mountain! Somebody else did enquire me if we can find any sea (as in the Caribbean Sea) out there! So then, should I distribute India maps to show where I was born or the world globe to point out the various seas on the earth? I don’t think that would be wise.
So people from the “North-East” eat fermented food (the odour is hideous to many others); but so does all the mongoloid races in all the east countries. Let us forget about being unfair, but stereotyping based on taste buds is yet another something! If there are bamboo shoot pickle recipes, there are also bamboo, cane and silk industries. The upbringing is generally more open, frank and self dependent. Girls are more open and marriage is totally an individual’s choice. So the stereotype goes as those wearing western dresses, hippie-cultured and soccer playing. I don’t play soccer and I write poems, so then Am I out of place? Which stereotype do I follow then? I am different then, since I do not fall into one of those many patterns. “Differences” can be so tricky sometimes!
When I was in high school, I used to be a tinkle-digest fan. They showed a shaven-head-pony-tailed and fat bellied priest Tenali Raman and his wife as typical (stereotyped) south Indians. I learnt that here names are really long because they include the father’s name, the grandfather’s name or even the village’s name. My curiosity knew no bounds to discover more of such names and the places itself. I knew about Mysore and its kings from my history classes. Tipu Sultan, the tiger of Mysore looked so appealing in the TV series with his huge kingdom, his huge durbar and all the battles he won. I thought of south India as idli-dosa and strict religious disciplines and temples with all their festivities and Onam snake boat races and Carnatic music and the Kathak dance. Now I came to know that they were actually all true, and that I still need to learn so much more. The stereotype is idli-dosa but yes the Konkani fish and prawns served (as in my room mate’s house in Udupi) are heaven’s recipes. So there! Stereotypes are again different from the reality and the truth.
This friend of mine thought “Naga” is a word derived from the word “nanga”, naked for Hindi (What? And, oh no dear!) Apparently they don’t need any clothes running around, naked among the trees in the jungles and hills! One time, this person thought of the nagas as a group of terrorists (as in LTTE). Poor them who are misunderstood, poorer them who are ignorant! Another friend “guessed” the Manipuri language has no script of its own (little did he know there are two Manipuri scripts!). So again, imagination and guesses are different from facts! Surely, ignorance is bliss; but this friend of mine knew of Ratan Thiyam, the famous theatre personality from the “North-East”. I suppose it has less to do with regions than it is about people and their individual logic.
This friend of mine thinks my community service is a waste, while I find his playing cricket a worse waste. I don’t even want to think on how “different” our opinions will be on other issues like regionalism or politics (given that he is from Lucknow and I am from Imphal). The stereotypes that we follow, and our individual views are sure to clash. Rather than comparing our differences, I feel it is better if I start to adjust myself to the fact that people can be different and that they should be. Or else I have to start stereotyping myself as a different stereotype. Don’t even get me started on the North and the “North-east” (and their different stereotypes)!
via SMS
Love, romance- they all sound so abstract. I don’t really know what acting coy is but I do know how to SMS. Poems, feelings and emotions are but “text” to me and colorful umbrellas and chocolates and soft big teddy bears are but my SMSs. SMSs are my white doves, with those “messages” tied to their legs with bright shiny strings, they are my electronic love letters, a royal way to flirt which even kings could not device!
It all started one day when we became good friends and I gave her my mobile number! She SMSed that eventful night! I had watched a wretched movie that evening; we discussed over it. Then when it was late night she sent her last SMS “GN TC.. SD” (roughly decoded as Good Night Take Care Sweet Dreams). Bells started to ring, songs commenced, sea waves and happiness flooded me! That night, my dreams had me running, hand in hand with her, across lush green meadows and rose gardens. Spring had come in my life! Then came that phase of my life- the sleepless-nights’ era. Whole night the light from my mobile phone will be flickering, “sending, sent, delivered” or “message received, text reply”. Those SMSs made me happy, they made me cry. They were riddles, anecdotes, wishes, both personally crafted and typed or carefully selected forwards. Day and night, train, buses, classrooms or the street- any time any where, her SMSs were expected. Those bad networking problems did trouble me but I kept my expectations alive, and my expectations kept me alive!
Calendar pages flipped, days and months went by and we continued SMS flirting. We grew SMS close. “buddy” replaced “hey”, “dear” replaced buddy, and I replaced dear with “sweetie”! We even started giving those odd timing missed calls! My SMSs started to mean so much to me that I never ever realized the need to actually meet her up, outside classes or outside the college, not even once! It did not flash my mind even once that people actually get really shy and coy during the actual flirting. I was proud (and rather safe), literally, to be into such encounters where shame and logic are areas of less concern. But those silly ideas did get my sleepless nights more sleepless. Are we ever going to express ourselves, face to face, verbally in some one-on-one conservation? Are we really serious? Whatever was the reasonable case, we were both enjoying it intensely (at least I was!). The only thing in SMS flirting is that you really tend to act and become like the person you were always jealous of. Looks tend to take a back seat! You tend to act out a lot because in reality you can never find out what the other person’s doing when she tells she is really missing you. It could be a roughly fake thing to say as you never know what the expressions at the other end are. But then again, this risk is everywhere; the butcher might tell the previous night’s meat as instant-fresh with that big innocent smile on his face, you can never really tell what is in a person’s head. It is just so that that risk is a bit more in case of SMS romance. What is (my) life without risks?
Soon came autumn and along followed winter. Those seasons when trees shed their leaves, looking all barren. It was the season of exams when I had to flip through the pages of my books as well, in between the usual typing for my expectations- my SMSs. The mobile company turned hostile. They cancelled on the plans of free SMSs. I was charged for keeping my life alive with my expectations, for being in love! Ah! Damn you cruel, business-minded corporate world! Why on earth was I shown the way to SMS love if you had to cut my throat in the process? I was one of those pilots whose plane hit a crazy loitering eagle up above the sky on his first day of flight! I was like that treasure hunter who went lost in the sahara desert because his careless caretaker lost the compass! I was a ship. Half sunk in the ocean water and waiting for itself to float up, once few passengers jumped into the water. I was all of those syndromes you could use to describe hopelessness and helplessness! But my expectations kept going even costlier and dearer to me. Those lush green plains and cowboy-settings in my dreams got all extinct. They got replaced by a concrete cubicle- the ATM. I dreamt of cash withdrawals and easy recharging. I still kept my hopes and expectations alive.
Alas! Things had changed. My fate turned me down. She stopped SMSing me! My world came crashing down. Hopes and expectations got badly beaten. Her emotions got dried up in the whole no-more-free-SMSs fiasco. I dearly wished we could continue, in some way at least! Till today, I don’t blame her. It was all due to the ugly mobile corporate who did not consider strangling the lives of all time SMS lovers in their cheap desire of making SMSing pricy. She was innocent. Or at least, I want to reminiscence of her as having sent me all her love, via the SMS!
It all started one day when we became good friends and I gave her my mobile number! She SMSed that eventful night! I had watched a wretched movie that evening; we discussed over it. Then when it was late night she sent her last SMS “GN TC.. SD” (roughly decoded as Good Night Take Care Sweet Dreams). Bells started to ring, songs commenced, sea waves and happiness flooded me! That night, my dreams had me running, hand in hand with her, across lush green meadows and rose gardens. Spring had come in my life! Then came that phase of my life- the sleepless-nights’ era. Whole night the light from my mobile phone will be flickering, “sending, sent, delivered” or “message received, text reply”. Those SMSs made me happy, they made me cry. They were riddles, anecdotes, wishes, both personally crafted and typed or carefully selected forwards. Day and night, train, buses, classrooms or the street- any time any where, her SMSs were expected. Those bad networking problems did trouble me but I kept my expectations alive, and my expectations kept me alive!
Calendar pages flipped, days and months went by and we continued SMS flirting. We grew SMS close. “buddy” replaced “hey”, “dear” replaced buddy, and I replaced dear with “sweetie”! We even started giving those odd timing missed calls! My SMSs started to mean so much to me that I never ever realized the need to actually meet her up, outside classes or outside the college, not even once! It did not flash my mind even once that people actually get really shy and coy during the actual flirting. I was proud (and rather safe), literally, to be into such encounters where shame and logic are areas of less concern. But those silly ideas did get my sleepless nights more sleepless. Are we ever going to express ourselves, face to face, verbally in some one-on-one conservation? Are we really serious? Whatever was the reasonable case, we were both enjoying it intensely (at least I was!). The only thing in SMS flirting is that you really tend to act and become like the person you were always jealous of. Looks tend to take a back seat! You tend to act out a lot because in reality you can never find out what the other person’s doing when she tells she is really missing you. It could be a roughly fake thing to say as you never know what the expressions at the other end are. But then again, this risk is everywhere; the butcher might tell the previous night’s meat as instant-fresh with that big innocent smile on his face, you can never really tell what is in a person’s head. It is just so that that risk is a bit more in case of SMS romance. What is (my) life without risks?
Soon came autumn and along followed winter. Those seasons when trees shed their leaves, looking all barren. It was the season of exams when I had to flip through the pages of my books as well, in between the usual typing for my expectations- my SMSs. The mobile company turned hostile. They cancelled on the plans of free SMSs. I was charged for keeping my life alive with my expectations, for being in love! Ah! Damn you cruel, business-minded corporate world! Why on earth was I shown the way to SMS love if you had to cut my throat in the process? I was one of those pilots whose plane hit a crazy loitering eagle up above the sky on his first day of flight! I was like that treasure hunter who went lost in the sahara desert because his careless caretaker lost the compass! I was a ship. Half sunk in the ocean water and waiting for itself to float up, once few passengers jumped into the water. I was all of those syndromes you could use to describe hopelessness and helplessness! But my expectations kept going even costlier and dearer to me. Those lush green plains and cowboy-settings in my dreams got all extinct. They got replaced by a concrete cubicle- the ATM. I dreamt of cash withdrawals and easy recharging. I still kept my hopes and expectations alive.
Alas! Things had changed. My fate turned me down. She stopped SMSing me! My world came crashing down. Hopes and expectations got badly beaten. Her emotions got dried up in the whole no-more-free-SMSs fiasco. I dearly wished we could continue, in some way at least! Till today, I don’t blame her. It was all due to the ugly mobile corporate who did not consider strangling the lives of all time SMS lovers in their cheap desire of making SMSing pricy. She was innocent. Or at least, I want to reminiscence of her as having sent me all her love, via the SMS!
Sunday, April 6, 2008
The AGM
The annual general body meeting, supposedly the first time in my life and the most disastrous one had me all in rags! It was supposed to be in some five star hotel, in another city. We were told to represent our students’ club. So, we were all high! Big people, big place and a befitting dinner. We did not take the financial liberty to take a luxury bus as they don’t refund so much and took the usual type. Our bus broke down on the way! All the nice fellow passengers, our neighbors, got down to take note of the situation and later to push the bus in an attempt to get it started (we were not really in mood so stayed inside only)! We or rather our bus reached the Bangalore outskirts by 6:45. Meeting was to start in another 15 mins. But the traffic of that eventful day was more ominous than our own intentions. We were not able to enter the heart of the city, that was where our hotel was situated. We were inside the bus for another 2 hours! The boredom and the numbness in my limbs crept out of me and went out to the city. The traffic got all the more static. Big cities are a big deal, more so their Saturdays. Eager people and their slow cars and all sort of vehicles , honking away, crawling like those turtles in the zoos weak due to eating nothing! In my fight to keep myself alive and my heart still pumping, I watched all the shops. I thought of window shopping. I watched the restaurants on the way. I thought of dining out there sometime just to increase my shoplifted (and branded) napkins. These happy feelings were not helping.
I wanted to jump out of the bus and run till my hotel. But there was no room left on the road for me to run there, so I stayed back! I watched every possible thing in sight. I even saw the guy at the last seat playing with his half chewed chewing gum. I could almost smell it, orbit gums I guessed. We reached finally and to our relief were on an auto, on the way to our meeting.
The meeting had started ages before. They were out of seats and out of those invitees’ kits (I was told I’wd get a coffee mug of good quality). I grabbed a glass of water to somehow console myself that I didn’t get the kit. The newly elected chairman was delivering a speech. He was telling how the student organizations under the Bangalore section were so un organised. We were in such a chaos that we don’t have the courtesy to reply back at their invitations to tell them to reserve those seats and kits and food for each one of us. He pointed at the late comers, precisely to me, just to cite an example! I started praying. Don’t make me seated, don’t gift me a memento but do not dare deprive me of that good five star food. Of course, the whole episode was very disturbing to one of my fellow friends who came with me. He felt it was our fault if we dint get food and begged the rest two of us to go and eat somewhere outside. I begged him more to stay. I was already in the long line for the buffet and could already smell the cuisines and feel the cold of the dessert! Food was not that great so I lifted a huge towel from one of the tables where the roasted chicken was being served. I am not really a kleptomaniac but just a napkin/souvenir collector! We were told to leave our names and addresses so that they send us our mementoes. I included my phone no also, just in case (just a napkin not really befits as a five star hotel-annual general body meeting souvenir)! We took pics too, for the showing to my friends and proof part.
Finally I found myself on an another bus for the return journey. We were a bunch of first timers, two of us greatly amused, the third all humiliated. We were all happy at the end, we were finally going back! I was the happiest, not because I had a roasted chicken smelling napkin in my bag, but also because I had a great experience!
I wanted to jump out of the bus and run till my hotel. But there was no room left on the road for me to run there, so I stayed back! I watched every possible thing in sight. I even saw the guy at the last seat playing with his half chewed chewing gum. I could almost smell it, orbit gums I guessed. We reached finally and to our relief were on an auto, on the way to our meeting.
The meeting had started ages before. They were out of seats and out of those invitees’ kits (I was told I’wd get a coffee mug of good quality). I grabbed a glass of water to somehow console myself that I didn’t get the kit. The newly elected chairman was delivering a speech. He was telling how the student organizations under the Bangalore section were so un organised. We were in such a chaos that we don’t have the courtesy to reply back at their invitations to tell them to reserve those seats and kits and food for each one of us. He pointed at the late comers, precisely to me, just to cite an example! I started praying. Don’t make me seated, don’t gift me a memento but do not dare deprive me of that good five star food. Of course, the whole episode was very disturbing to one of my fellow friends who came with me. He felt it was our fault if we dint get food and begged the rest two of us to go and eat somewhere outside. I begged him more to stay. I was already in the long line for the buffet and could already smell the cuisines and feel the cold of the dessert! Food was not that great so I lifted a huge towel from one of the tables where the roasted chicken was being served. I am not really a kleptomaniac but just a napkin/souvenir collector! We were told to leave our names and addresses so that they send us our mementoes. I included my phone no also, just in case (just a napkin not really befits as a five star hotel-annual general body meeting souvenir)! We took pics too, for the showing to my friends and proof part.
Finally I found myself on an another bus for the return journey. We were a bunch of first timers, two of us greatly amused, the third all humiliated. We were all happy at the end, we were finally going back! I was the happiest, not because I had a roasted chicken smelling napkin in my bag, but also because I had a great experience!
April 6, 2008
To
Santa Claus,
The North Pole.
Dear Santa Claus,
Subject: Now I realize!
Merry Christmas! Are you and your elves busy getting ready for the holidays? Me and my family sure is!
When I first came far away from my family I never realized… I am so typical. Somebody can say I am pampered, also short tempered or very rude. I claim to be caring and understanding. Some people don’t think so. They seem to reject every possible theory I put forward in my self appreciation. Why is this so? Do kindly provide me an answer to this. Thanks!
Also I wanted to keep a dog in place of my roomy. I promise to you (and also swear) I’ll take care of him nicely. Feed him and bath him, also brush him. But I just cant tolerate my roomy any more. Also is there a provision like only people whom I like come to attend classes in my college? Some of these college goers really irritate me. They hurt my sensibility! A lot, a lot!
Please... if you remember I prayed for the life longevity of certain people last year. Those of my "friends" have been very mean to me. I take back those prayers. You can punish them any time now if they continue to be mean to me. Its all right!!
I have been very good this year. This year at least, I hope you will bring me some fun-living.
Love
Disturbed ross
To
Santa Claus,
The North Pole.
Dear Santa Claus,
Subject: Now I realize!
Merry Christmas! Are you and your elves busy getting ready for the holidays? Me and my family sure is!
When I first came far away from my family I never realized… I am so typical. Somebody can say I am pampered, also short tempered or very rude. I claim to be caring and understanding. Some people don’t think so. They seem to reject every possible theory I put forward in my self appreciation. Why is this so? Do kindly provide me an answer to this. Thanks!
Also I wanted to keep a dog in place of my roomy. I promise to you (and also swear) I’ll take care of him nicely. Feed him and bath him, also brush him. But I just cant tolerate my roomy any more. Also is there a provision like only people whom I like come to attend classes in my college? Some of these college goers really irritate me. They hurt my sensibility! A lot, a lot!
Please... if you remember I prayed for the life longevity of certain people last year. Those of my "friends" have been very mean to me. I take back those prayers. You can punish them any time now if they continue to be mean to me. Its all right!!
I have been very good this year. This year at least, I hope you will bring me some fun-living.
Love
Disturbed ross
Love was never new to me
Love was never new to me. Seems like I was always in love! Claiming to be sensitive, sophisticated and someone actually getting what “love” is doesn’t help but! When you finally fell in love you realize it is nothing new other than the excruciating pain associated with it. The inability to help yourself and console yourself. All hell breaks lose. You lose control over logic and credibility to yourself (or for that matter you lose control over your mind!). Too much anticipation, inspiration from too many movies and too much of discussion let you think of it as something “tried and done”, which is not! Definitely not! It is really different. Not different different but painfully different. You claim you’ve known this person so well. You’ve been close for such and such period of time. And the next moment you realize you missed so and so major details of this person that you can’t trust yourself and your decision making capability. I don’t discourage people to trust others but also be sure of those so and so details of your spouse. Don’t realize it too late. Some actually realize it too late. So late that they are already standing, saying an ardent “yes” on the alter or already walking down the aisle (having done the “yes” part of course)!
So what the hell is my point? That’s my point! I have lost tract of all points having gotten into this love business. Initially it was all going out, promises and romance. Later still, I want to love and I am still in love but that fire is burning less and it is sort of a nightmare by now! I sound silly and dubious and lost. Well then how do I say now about the experience and wisdom I gained from my friends’ advices, the novels I read and the movies from my big buffer of “all time best romantic/love stories”? Am I still old with love. No! I am a big newbie. So now I give up my expertise status. All I do is put on my “amateur status” cap, put down the thinking cap and hang on. I am still in love; just the only difference is that I am now willing to discover love. I want to fall in love and get hurt and loved- but in an all together new way. No apprehensions, taking it the way my heart feels about my love! Love was never new to me!
So what the hell is my point? That’s my point! I have lost tract of all points having gotten into this love business. Initially it was all going out, promises and romance. Later still, I want to love and I am still in love but that fire is burning less and it is sort of a nightmare by now! I sound silly and dubious and lost. Well then how do I say now about the experience and wisdom I gained from my friends’ advices, the novels I read and the movies from my big buffer of “all time best romantic/love stories”? Am I still old with love. No! I am a big newbie. So now I give up my expertise status. All I do is put on my “amateur status” cap, put down the thinking cap and hang on. I am still in love; just the only difference is that I am now willing to discover love. I want to fall in love and get hurt and loved- but in an all together new way. No apprehensions, taking it the way my heart feels about my love! Love was never new to me!
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